Boo Sick Computers and Laziness!

So it has clearly been awhile since I posted and I clearly did not stick with my original plan of posting every other day but that's because I lack motivation and all but gave up this week -- and my computer decided that it hated me (thanks to mom for letting me borrow her laptop until mine is healthy and functioning again).

My biggest challenge in this whole getting to a healthier weight thing is clearly going to be the work week. I just don't want to do anything once I've clocked out and gotten in my car except for go home and lounge in a big comfy chair. Which is obviously not very productive to reach my goal. So I'm going to have to brainstorm ways to work in my workout while I am at work. I do get an hour for lunch so maybe instead of sitting in the staff lounge listening to the latest gossip I can head on down to the gym and walk or I could head out to the great outdoors and walk....hmmm decisions, decisions. All I know is that I let myself down MAJORLY this week because I did zip in the working out department and gained back 2 pounds of the 4 I had originally lost (BOOOOO!!!)

Also, I have decided that I need peanut butter and chocolate like a zombie needs brains. I mean I don't understand how some people have the will power to just cut out chocolate and anything else deliciously yummy and be totally happy with the decision. I tried that and I swear the peanut butter M&Ms were stalking me -- every where I went there they were! So (I use the word "so" a lot don't I!) I think maybe I need to sacrfice something else in order to allow my craving for chocolate and peanut butter...but what that something else is I haven't quite decided.

OK enough griping and back to work! Wish me luck!!

News Flash: Buffets Are NOT Your Friend!

I Repeat: BUFFETS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND!!!

So today went out with a friend that I haven't seen in months and we had a really good time. First was lunch and we decided we really wanted Chinese food because who doesn't like Chinese food?? The only real Chinese restaurant we have in town is a buffet -- which did not turn out so well for me. I did OK but when I totaled everything up on my food diary it totaled over 700 calories!! And that my friends is A LOT of calories for just lunch!!

After lunch we were going to see a movie but we ended up talking so much that by the time we left the restaurant we only had 9 minutes until the movie started and our theater was about 15 minutes away, so instead we decided to go check out the botanical garden. This turned out to be an excellent idea because it was like going on a hike only with paved trails and GORGEOUS flowers to look at. We spent an hour and a half walking and taking pictures which helped redeemed lunch time!

I feel pretty proud of myself I know it's only been two days but I didn't make any excuses as to why I couldn't exercise today (I also did the strength training cards from Self which were BRUTAL). The long weekend ends tomorrow which means it's back to work, which means that I'm going to have to keep myself motivated to do my workout tomorrw (I tend to give up on exercise after working all day). But like the little engine said "I think I can! I think I can!"

Link Time!!

Lauritzen Gardens (the botanical gardens are beautiful and I definitely reccomend them!)

The Most Important Post Of All (Kind Of)

Basically this post is just to say to ignore all other posts that I have posted before (although I may still reference the list from time to time). I have finally gotten honest with myself and realized that I want to use this blog as an outlet to better myself: emotionally, physically, and mentally. I have a lot to learn in life still and this is my first step in learning those things.

Yesterday I started to cut ties with someone who I've technically known since kindergarten and became really good friends with in high school. Life obviously got in the way and we just became too very different people. It was becoming emotionally draining to try to be their friend and so I decided that it was time for me to move on and cut strings so that I can be a happier person in the long run. Who knows, maybe one day we will reconnect and become friends again. I've also realized that I have become too dependent on my circle of friends to make me happy. I judge my happiness on how often I see my friends and whether or not I'm in a relationship (which I haven't ever really been in a REAL relationship) and that is honestly just kind of silly. So, I've decided that I need to learn how to be my own bestfriend and to learn how to really love myself before I try to include anyone elses happiness in my own.

Physically, I'm a big girl -- really big. I have been saying I'm going to lose weight FOREVER! But honestly I kind of have skinny girl syndrome (I think I'm a skinny but am really not) and just convince myself that I look good and then give up trying. I've recently subscribed to Self because I'm a sucker for magazines and plus I love to read their articles, yet I've never put them into action. In September they started running a lose 8 pounds program that includes lots of fun prizes you can win if you achieve your goal! I figured it was worth a shot and would be an excellent way to start losing weight, so I signed up. I also used their calculators and found that my "Happy Weight" is 125 which means I have A LOT of work to do, but it will all be worth it in the end. I've also started reading Secrets of a Former Fat Girl and I looove it! It's a self help book not written by some quack (Dr. Phil I'm looking at you!) but written by someone who has actually been there. It's loaded with lots of secrets and tips to help you on your way to become a "former fat girl" -- although I am breaking secret #2 by telling everyone that I'm on weight loss mission -- OH WELL.

Mentally, well is anyone ever OK mentally HAHA. Anyway I really want to reconnect with God. When I was in High School and all through college I had this amazing relationship with Him and I was soo happy. But, then I graduated college and real live happened. My first job right out of school was horrible and I was having anxiety attacks and lots of other issues, and thats when I first started to drift away. I left that job and found one I'm reasonably happy at (all work places have there issues) but I was still drifting. I then thought maybe my church was the issue and went on a hunt for one that would cater to my needs but I missed my church. So I've been working on getting back to God and it's been slow going but I feel myself inching closer everyday :)!

Well, this may be the longest post in the history of posting but I feel renewed and will try my best to post everyday -- well -- maybe everyother day. Links for the Self challenge and the book I referenced will be posted below:

Self Challenge (I chose the at home option but will probably incorporate some gym time in there too)

Secrets of a Former Fat Girl (you can also find this at Barnes and Noble -- that's where I found mine)